As I sit here and type, I have the Soph hanging out sleeping on my hospital bed...she is a hit with the doctors and nurses who all come into my room clean and then leave looking like a furry monster exploded onto their scrubs. Too funny.
Having Tim and Sophie here today have put things back in the order they needed to be. For the first time in weeks, Tim was here when the doctor came in and explained the ultra sound. For this I am grateful because hearing things from me is not the same. She showed us a graph with the lung development and said that although there are NO guarantees, his lungs look to be growing and things are looking better. More good news...if I continue to carry him without any problems she is going to consult with the other doctors and push to have me deliver at week 32 instead of week 34...YAY!!!!!!!!! Please keep praying that Will continues to develop and he stays put at least another 2 weeks...
The earlier delivery is good for a number of reasons: first, infection and also a complication where the placenta detaches from the uterus wall greatly increases after week 32 in women who ruptured as early as I did. Second, this means I only have 4 more weeks to go, which makes me much more optimistic and able to keep my sanity, which can only help Will. And third, we can finally see just what we are dealing with here.
I love my friend Beth's comment from my last post about God carrying me. It made me laugh, which is always a good thing. To answer her question, as far as I can tell, the last week (okay, more like last 11 weeks) God has definitely been carrying me ~ no doubt about that...but which way I don't know. I guess, if I were picturing how my thoughts about everything would translate into actions, I can totally picture me throwing a hissy fit and being dragged down the beach. God walking, patiently looking ahead unfazed by my frantic pleas and screams, with his footprints being left behind in the sand. And then me, much less elegantly, crying, sniffling, yelling...holding onto God for dear life, looking behind me more than looking ahead. The occasional drag mark from my foot when I just wanted to plant myself and not move forward. I can totally picture it. Am I embarrassed by this? Yes and no...because I'll be the first to admit that I am not perfect by any means and I have many more weak moments than so called strong ones during this experience.
But today I have had an attitude change and that has helped me not to look back over God's shoulder any longer. Now I would say that I am riding on his shoulders, eagerly looking forward at what is to come...hoping to catch a glimpse of the miracle baby that is going to be born sooner than I thought. I know I can't prepare for much, other than to stop wasting time worrying and continue to build up my faith and my trust that things will work out.