Monday, July 7, 2008

16 days to go?

Tim & I have really been talking a lot of what is to come. I guess its starting to hit us as the day draws closer and we are both reeling from a string of emotions. Similar to a deployment, the stress is there and its best to talk about it rather than act like nothing is about to happen. We were both pretty broken down over the weekend and then we got just what we needed.

We never watch TV (don't even have cable at home) and last night Extreme Home Makeover was on...who did they feature? A Marine. Perfect...Tim and I were glued to the TV for two hours. It was the swift kick in the pants we both needed. I realized that we have somehow gotten away from the life lessons we learned while being around Marines and I am absolutely ashamed of that. We have made it through so many things, why face this situation with any less resolve? Moving away from Camp Pendleton was needed to move on in life, but I miss the constant reminder of all that we have overcome by being in the presence of greatness. Marines provide that. Being in the midst of that community, there is always someone so much worse off than you...and I'm not talking about stupid things most people gripe about like needing a vacation or working long hours...no, things like death, divorce, babies dying and the wife doing it all alone...dads never coming home. Things that people actually have a right to complain about...but surprisingly they don't...and so neither will I.

My biggest fear?

Losing my perspective and becoming like so many others who complain when they have a life full of blessings...focusing on what has been lost instead of what stands to be gained. It is a hard line we are walking and its easy to want to give in and get down...but last night was a comforting reminder of where we have been, and that will help us to get where we now need to go.

Today started with a fresh outlook. I can only pray that it continues...it did. This afternoon I had a great visit with a sorority sister I haven't seen in a year. Thanks for visiting and bringing the awesome lunch, Beth!!!

God works in mysterious ways. When all seems to be lost he sends someone or something who helps me keep going. It is such a blessing to be back in an area where I can see old friends who help to bring us up in such a difficult time. Now if going through this experience means that I can help someone in the future cope with something similar, I believe that it is worth it...

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