Wednesday, September 10, 2008


So tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. What is it with September 11th?
Seven years ago every one's life changed dramatically. Being connected to the military meant ours would change even more, and then there are all those memories attached to that date. None of them good. And so when I went to my first doctors appointment in CA and he told me Will's due date was the 11th...

I replied, "My don't want my baby to be born on the 11th!"
Didn't expect to be right, in the worst sort of way. But I didn't want him born on that specific day for a number of reasons. Now? I wouldn't care what day he was born on...And it didn't matter anyway, after that appointment every other doctor I went to gave out a different date~the 13th, 15th...Let's just say this was to be Will's week.

So I have been making sure to keep busy over these tough days. Tomorrow, I will sub for the first time since May. And then at that same school I have an interview for a long term sub job. Nothing like a little extra stress.

I really don't know what to think about any of it. I have to admit that I am totally confused about what I am supposed to doing or even why I should do it.
And I am not used to being this confused about what I want.

Or maybe its that I only want the one thing that I can no longer have. Yes, that is it.

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