Today I was in need of little kid hugs.
But there was one problem...all of the kiddies that I wanted hugs from were 2000 miles away.
If there is one huge thing I miss about teaching, its that a little hug can go a huge way.
So as I ate my words spoken to a friend last night (that I had turned a corner in this whole grief thing), I answered back to this brutal day with much indifference...and by refusing to get out of my bathrobe until 2:00. And as I did meaningless tasks around the house I wondered if it is quite possible to have a midlife crisis before you turn 30.
I think in my case...you could grant an exception.
I also think that this whole downward spiral of today was set off by attending support group last night. And it just kind of spilled over.
So instead of little kid hugs, I face planted myself (more like flung my entire body in utter disgust) on the bed and sobbed. Sophie provided some comfort and let me hug her until I think she finally became disgusted with me too...and left. Apparently, her smelly bed on the laundry room floor was more appealing than listening to me wail at God.
I know this too shall pass. I'm just too impatient with the whole process...and as it gets to be freezing cold (my eyes bugged out of my head when I looked out the window and saw flurries this morning) I'm starting to miss the warm sunshine. So look out Cali friends, I'm determined to make a visit out there before I turn into an icicle. And I'm also pretty sure this is the palest I have been in 6 years...