Thursday, November 20, 2008


I made it...
Being in SoCal has been great.

And Tim was worried that I wouldn't come home.
I won't lie...the thought crossed my mind to skip the flight home. However, it feels more like summer to me than the week before Thanksgiving. And without him here, well, I miss him nagging me to go work out and do all those active things we can't really do in the ARCTIC TUNDRA we moved to.

Don't get me wrong~I really do love Michigan, but I am realizing that somewhere along the way of me hating Orange County...I grew to love things out here too. And as much as I hate to admit it, after being in MI, I am realizing that there are many things the OC instilled in me whether I like it or not. So I will just say that I feel at home both places. And that is okay.

Yesterday I got more hugs in one day than many get in a lifetime. Visiting A.V. was unbelievable and seeing my old students, the parents, and staff of that school made me more happy than I have been in a super long time.

Thank you.
I loved seeing every single one of you.
And I feel so amazingly blessed to have been a part of that school, which allowed me to gain so many friendships and recieve so much love. Both of which have kept me going when I thought it was no longer possible.

As I said before. Its hard to be depressed when its 80 degrees and sunny outside. I still cried with some friends, but this trip has been sort of a closure for me. As I visited with some of my 5th graders, one saw my necklace with WILL engraved on the front and said,
"You should have engraved BEAN on the back"
The nickname we gave Will when he was the size of a coffee bean, but already very present in our lives. And it is comments like that...well, they just make me smile. Because he was here and in many ways his spirit and memory are spread so vastly over many miles. Therefore, he lives on in the memory of so many.

And then as I stood in a circle of my old students, in the typical fashion of them getting as close to me as possible...they started talking over each other, yelling questions at me about totally random things, which then led to them bickering over who knows what. I started repeating myself very loudly,

"You guys! You don't have to yell...I am right here. RIGHT HERE."
And as my head started to pound with the kind of headache I hadn't gotten since...oh, I don't know...March? I thought to myself...Seriously?! Some things never change. I'm in a timewarp.
But then I realized...
I needed this right now, loved this right now....
and I wouldn't have it any other way.


Megan Smith said...

How long are you here for??? I'd LOVE to see you - even just to say HI and give you a hug in person! Call me if you have a sec (949) 735-4401

Anonymous said...

Awwww... this is such a great post! I'm so bummed I didn't know you were at AV Wed! I had Navid pick up Alex. Where are you staying while you're here? When do you go back? SOOOOO awesome you came for a visit -- nothing like a change of scenery and a MILLION people that love you to feel a little relief, huh?

KRISTYN said...

What a great blog from you - you sound happy, and that you needed some air. Enjoy Cali, and relax. Thinking of you. Love, kristyn