Oh, how I was wishing that this would be so much easier by now.
But honestly, it doesn't seem like 6 months to me.
To my heart it still feels like yesterday.
And the elephant is still sitting on my chest...
slowly suffocating me.
And I carry this heartache with me everywhere,
in everything I do.
By now, others have somewhat forgotten about it and probably assume that we have somewhat forgotten about it too.
Perhaps that is why I find myself feeling more alone that ever,
I'm still stuck while the rest of the world keeps moving.
But after all of this,
I don't move through life the way I used to.
I don't feel the way I used to.
And I don't value the things I used to.
Every second I had with Will is tucked down deep,
and I carry his heart in mine.
It has been difficult as many around us seem to dismiss all of this, and give me the "look" when I bring up his name.
Talking about him is all I have left.
And while things have not gotten easier,
they have become tolerable on most days. Its those friends, family, and strangers that lend a supportive thought, a quite prayer, and well wishes that help fill a tiny piece of that huge void losing Will has left in me. So I thank those of you who continue to pray, continue to call, and who don't give up on me...
through the grace of God and the kindness and compassion of other people,
I have been able to get this far.
Sweet Will ~ Mommy misses you so, so much...