Tuesday, June 9, 2009

patiently waiting

Haven't written much lately.
Not that I don't want to,
but nothing is really going on.

School is out.
The weather is slightly improving.
Things are overly green and alive...
and I have way too much time on my hands.
Good thing the Twilight series books are over 600 pages and there are 4 of them.
I don't know what I'll do when I finish.

Last week, we went to Indiana to bury Tim's last living grandma.
We were happy for her,
she was 97 and had been wanting to go for some time.
I guess in the circle of life,
that is how it is supposed to go.
You live a long full life and then pass away in your sleep.
Only I know better now,
that sometimes the circle is disrupted.

As we stood by her graveside,
in the middle of the cemetery
surrounded by Indiana farmland...
I envied her era in a way.
She lived in the same place her whole life,
had a small circle of friends and family.
And things were just more,
As I walked to the car, I took notice of other head stones.
And what did I see?
Three babies.
The years were somewhat faded,
And even though it was 100 years ago,
I wondered about them,
felt sad for them.
Felt that anxiety for the parents that were buried next to them...
who endured a lifetime without their child.

I guess it happened more frequently back in the day,
but it was nice to see that they were named...
that they were buried with their family...
that they existed
and their headstones were left for the rest of us to see.

The history back here is something I love,
being in that field
it could have been 1915 because nothing else had changed.

So I guess that has been on my mind since last week.
Funerals make you reflect,
not that I need any help in that category.
But otherwise, I am still feeling optimistic.

Still hoping that a call will come for an interview,
or any other good news.
Maybe I'm in better spirits because I'm not subbing,
and can catch up on some sleep.
I require a lot these days,
they tell me its normal.
But I can't help but think that I have better things to do.

Three weeks from tomorrow we'll be in the O.C.
That is giving me an opportunity for excitement...
Seeing friends...
And having some real summer weather.
I can't wait.


~lisa said...

We dont know each other, but i feel like i know you through your writing. I always look forward to your next post. If you guys ever venture to Wilmington NC, Post it, I'd love to meet you for coffee, or perhaps to catch a few waves at the beach. Until next time...

carriekuipers said...

Your comment about the babies headstones made smile - because we have one in our back yard...we had to replace the one from our fist son with a bigger one that fit both of the boys. So...we ended up with the first one - and it is so heavy it just stays put by the hostas. I forget it is there but we get funny glances from people when they see it. Being a mom who put a lot of thought into what it said, what stone it was made from, and how it looks, I still love it- even when people give funny glances. I do feel the need to tell people he is not buried there but I still cannot part with the headstone. Seeing other babies headstones makes me think too - of what these families had to go through - all of the sadness and pain. But, they were loved, and will always be remembered.