Tonight I am missing you tremendously.
It started out harmless enough...
looking for a family Christmas card.
Then after looking at the picture perfect families,
I am coming to the realization that ours won't ever be.
Because no matter what,
you won't be here to be in it.
There will always be a huge hole in our family.
Any picture I pick out,
it just isn't right.
You are in our constant thoughts,
still a huge part of this family...
yet there is no picture.
No way to document just how much we think of you...
How much we still ache and love you.
So here we go.
Another heart breaking holiday season.
Others have their kids,
their wish lists...
many have new babies.
All I want is something I can't have...
But instead, I'll pretend to be fine.
So I won't hamper the joy for others.
All the while,
I'll be thinking of you....