Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Happy 8th Anniversary

Eight whole years.
Tim asked if I was shocked that we made it 8 years...
or if I was more shocked at how quickly the 8 years went...
and my reply was "both."

He knows I am joking.
And I am.
Despite all that we have done,
all that we have been through...
my marriage is a blessing from God.
And I love my husband more today,
than I did 8 years ago.

Today he took the day off from work (a HUGE deal if you know his work ethic!)
and we spent the day going to the high risk Dr.
Let's just give them the code name, Dr. Risky...
there is a whole team of them,
and they are awesome...
but to keep everyone straight~that is what I will call them.

I also have a regular OB/GYN
whom I will see on a regular basis.
I did not have her with Will,
I had the Dr. Risky team.
They rock.
And walking into that office, with good news this time,
was uplifting.
I know I will be taken care of.

So today when we went,
I got the red carpet treatment in the ultra sound room.
The tech and I had a coffee the month after Will died,
and I adore her.
She was so excited, she popped a disk into their new machine
and got tons of pictures.
Even better...she busted out the 3D equipment
and just went crazy.

But, I am measuring smaller than I had figured.
So, they laughed when I groaned loudly at only being 8 weeks and 4 days.
I'm glad they think its funny...
I don't!
The double digits is a big deal,
and I would have kept my mouth shut for a bit longer.
But then again, what good would it do to keep it a secret anyways?

If anything happens, the world will know about it...
who am I trying to kid?
And besides, I have been sick for what seems like forever,
not complaining (its a huge blessing)
but I guess each day that passes is a small victory for me.
Not sure I could really hide it much longer,
my pale nauseating face pretty much gives it away:)

So, the 3D pictures were slightly funny.
Just a blob that looked like a little gummy bear with bumps where the arms and legs will be.
It almost freaks me out when I see it like that,
makes you realize just what a miracle the entire process is.

Then we heard the heartbeat.
That got me right in the gut,
and for a moment...
I was back in my hospital room, with Will on the monitor.
The nurses would hook me up twice a day for nearly 30 min. or longer,
and his steady heartbeat would put me right to sleep...
that is, if he wasn't hiccuping loudly.
There is just something about hearing that little heart beat,
it chokes me up.

And it makes this whole situation not blissful or thrilling...
but very scary.
Hearing the heartbeat
brings all sorts of painful memories that no one really knows about.
It should be a happy thing,
but going down this road again is another test of faith.

After we had a chat with Dr. Risky,
some various things were discussed.
There is no rhyme or reason why Will's water broke.
They don't know why,
there is nothing that I did or didn't do.
So we will sit tight and let this pregnancy progress.
At least I feel like there is a plan in place,
but this is where I am glad that I have so many people praying for us.

That is the one thing,
I know I can believe in...the power of prayer.

2 comments:

~lisa said...

This post is beautiful! Praying for you each day...xo

Desha said...

I was so excited hear your good news! Praying for you and baby and a healthy pregnancy:)