Thursday, January 7, 2010

New hope

Time is still getting away from me.
I have to keep writing,
things are going so fast and I want to remember this time.

Our New Years Eve was uneventful.
We had a dinner out with my family,
where I stuffed my face with various crappy foods
that I shouldn't be eating.
(Why does everything have to be fried here?!)
Then paid for it later when I couldn't stay awake
at our friends NYE party and had to go home at 10:00.
I'm such a loser.

My time has been spent battling sickness,
severe fatigue...
and hunger pains that come on so strongly that I would willingly take out any poor soul that got between me and whatever food I had to have at that exact moment.
Tim has learned from Will's pregnancy,
not to question my cravings.
He has been wonderful.
And despite being stuck in bed a lot of the time,
I cherish this feeling...
because I know its a good sign.

And so we have survived our first week back to the "grind."
I have taken it easy after having a scare last Sunday.
Its strange how everything with Will has changed me.
Many of these changes are just coming to light.

On Sunday, when my worst fear happened...
I took a step back,
realized that I was doing everything in my power for this baby...
and simply let go.
I am not controlling this,
I am doing my best,
and giving the rest to God.
And to be honest, I am relieved.

The rest of the week went smoothly.
And tomorrow I have yet another appointment with my regular doctor.
They will also do another ultrasound due to the circumstances of earlier this week.

But I am calm,
and taking one day at a time.
That is the only way I know how to live anymore,
and that is fine with me.

1 comment:

Scanlans said...

I pray for a 2010 filled with not having to live one day at a time for a while.. and for amazing joy!