Thursday, February 25, 2010

Sevens

If I can recall, most people love the number 7.
My step-sister's birthday is 7.7
My friend got married on 7.7
I was always fond of the number 11,
kind of like when a digital clock reads 11:11
yes, I still knock on wood and make a wish.
Cheesy, but true.
Not that I think any number is necessarily lucky or not...

Now though, 7's sometimes get to me.
Will was born on 7.17
and today I am 17 weeks pregnant...
the exact same time in Will's pregnancy when I went to the bathroom at my parents house and knew things would never be the same.
Sevens...
Definitely the brand of my favorite jeans,
but that was always about it.
Now, I swear, every morning when I look at the clock can you guess what time it is?
7:17
Strange.

But not as strange as my inability to post the numerous blogs I have written in February.
Any guesses on how many half-finished thoughts/posts there are?
Oh yes....you guessed it.
7.

Where just all this rambling leave me?
Not quite sure.
Do I post the remaining 6 half-finished blog posts?
Not sure about that either.
The only thing I am sure about,
is that writing still helps with all of this.
"All of this" meaning all the emotions I am experiencing on the roller coaster.
And I need to write more...
and consistently.

So expect to see some changes here,
maybe a little design makeover...
because this whole blogging thing is about to get more serious.
I had a revelation the other night.
Just why do I pour my innermost thoughts and feelings
out into the Internet world for anyone to read?
I certainly didn't start blogging for this reason.
But this is where the path led,
and so I am following it. 
I never sought it out,
it just happened...
And that leaves me with a choice:
Either go through all this and keep it bottled up...
a hidden secret like most people.
Or...
put it all out there.
Take a chance and go to where I am being led.
In a hope of healing myself,
but most importantly...
maybe giving someone else hope.

What can I say?
All these 7's are urging me to take a little chance.
A gamble, that maybe things could change.
And that is a chance I have to take.

1 comment:

carriekuipers said...

Baby Hudson was 7.7 oz when he was born...11 months later Greyson was born at 7 1b 7 oz. I always thought that was God's way of giving me a smile...7 - 7 both ways.
I hae been thinking about you a lot over the past few weeks. This time of the pregnancy is HARD! I keep praying for a perfect ending!