Thursday, February 25, 2010


If I can recall, most people love the number 7.
My step-sister's birthday is 7.7
My friend got married on 7.7
I was always fond of the number 11,
kind of like when a digital clock reads 11:11
yes, I still knock on wood and make a wish.
Cheesy, but true.
Not that I think any number is necessarily lucky or not...

Now though, 7's sometimes get to me.
Will was born on 7.17
and today I am 17 weeks pregnant...
the exact same time in Will's pregnancy when I went to the bathroom at my parents house and knew things would never be the same.
Definitely the brand of my favorite jeans,
but that was always about it.
Now, I swear, every morning when I look at the clock can you guess what time it is?

But not as strange as my inability to post the numerous blogs I have written in February.
Any guesses on how many half-finished thoughts/posts there are?
Oh guessed it.

Where just all this rambling leave me?
Not quite sure.
Do I post the remaining 6 half-finished blog posts?
Not sure about that either.
The only thing I am sure about,
is that writing still helps with all of this.
"All of this" meaning all the emotions I am experiencing on the roller coaster.
And I need to write more...
and consistently.

So expect to see some changes here,
maybe a little design makeover...
because this whole blogging thing is about to get more serious.
I had a revelation the other night.
Just why do I pour my innermost thoughts and feelings
out into the Internet world for anyone to read?
I certainly didn't start blogging for this reason.
But this is where the path led,
and so I am following it. 
I never sought it out,
it just happened...
And that leaves me with a choice:
Either go through all this and keep it bottled up...
a hidden secret like most people.
put it all out there.
Take a chance and go to where I am being led.
In a hope of healing myself,
but most importantly...
maybe giving someone else hope.

What can I say?
All these 7's are urging me to take a little chance.
A gamble, that maybe things could change.
And that is a chance I have to take.

1 comment:

carriekuipers said...

Baby Hudson was 7.7 oz when he was born...11 months later Greyson was born at 7 1b 7 oz. I always thought that was God's way of giving me a smile...7 - 7 both ways.
I hae been thinking about you a lot over the past few weeks. This time of the pregnancy is HARD! I keep praying for a perfect ending!