Thursday, January 27, 2011

6 months

Happy 6 month Birthday!
A whole half year already...
And what a week leading up to it!

Jack, this week you celebrated your half year birthday with a bang:
First fever (102.3)
First cold
and to top it all off your first TWO teeth popped through this morning!
You have not been a happy camper,
but you have been one tough cookie.

Since Christmas you can now sit up for longer periods without any help
or without falling on your face. You also are eating a few solid foods and no longer gagging on them:) What is the most disgusting thing? You love prunes...I have no idea who you got this trait from!

Most importantly, you can now fit into all your 6-12 month clothes I happily have stashed away along the journey:) And good thing, because not only are you the best dressed in the family (according to Daddy), but it means that you always have a clean set of clothes since you seem to drool a LOT...and never mind all the spit-up, since you love to bend your little body in half as you reach and grab for everything in sight, including your toes.

We love to make you laugh and giggle. Your feet and tummy are ticklish. And you just love to be a busy body, I know in a few short moments you will be giving me a great work out chasing after you.
You bring so much joy to our lives. Every day is something new...
Speaking of new, mommy found these fun stickers to slap on just before its time to snap your monthly photos.
What a great idea! Find them on
If only everything were this easy! Because apparently your toes were much more interesting than anything I was doing to get your attention for a cute 6 month picture:)
And that is nothing new...

Thursday, January 20, 2011


Two and half years ago yesterday, Will died.

After all this time, nothing really has changed on the inside.
I still miss him terribly and think about him numerous times a day. That probably surprises a lot of people. But it really shouldn't...I have found that with Jack being born, people are quick to forget who came before.

But as a mother, you never do...

There are times when I glance at Jack, see a similarity and it causes me to catch my breath. We look out the window together at the falling snow and I tell him about his brother. He has no idea what I am talking about right now, but as he grows up, he will know about Will.

Most days now are filled with such crazy busy "mom tasks" like feeding Jack, keeping him happy and constantly changing him from outfit to outfit as he drools or throws up. I don't have time to be fact finding time to clean or change out of sweat pants still can be a challenge! And don't even get me started on trying to keep up with everything I want to blog about...

But every now and then he will look at me with those eyes, or cuddle up to me in the middle of the night after a bottle and I can't stop the tears from streaming down my face. I hug him as if I am hugging them both.

Jack is such a blessing and as his little personality is beginning to show...
I'm loving him twice as hard.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

New Year...New Family

Our little family had a great Christmas this year...
and if there was one phrase that Tim and I found ourselves constantly repeating to ourselves and to each other was,

"What a difference a year makes."

This was the year we had been waiting MANY years for...
Jack has brought back a love for life that I thought I might never see again. The past few holidays were so painful without Will and without any sort of real hope that we often thought of selling everything we owned and escaping to some far away land. Some of our family & friends understood our grief and were supportive, while others were so painfully clueless that it has led us to simply cut out any sort of gatherings because we just couldn't take it.

What a difference a year makes...
New Years 2008, we were beat up. Without our son, in a new state, and me without a job...I'll be honest, there wasn't anything happy about life at that moment. I wanted out. January 2009 was the lowest point in my life and yet when I think back (isn't that really what New Years is all about? Reflection?) I have no idea what kept me from giving up except for one thing, there was about a gram of hope left in my soul. All I did was pray for that spec of hope to grow and as it did with time I also found my faith being simply HAD to get better than this.

New Years 2009, I had a secret that I had just shared with family. Even though I was about 12 weeks along I was terrified. Terrified that this would end up just like the other 3...and when I started having more complications last January I threw my hands in the air and was at a complete loss. I didn't even know what to pray...Did I pray for a miscarriage right then so it wouldn't be like Will all over again? Was that how damaged I was that I had given up even thinking it might turn out the way I had only started to allow myself to dare to dream? Each day in 2010 leading up to Jack's birth was an achievement.

New Years 2010...I stared at my dream come true laying in his crib. I cursed my neighbors for setting of fireworks in front of our house at midnight and waking me from my precious sleep...and I stared at Jack once again as he slept right through. This year, I was physically drained but finally emotionally and spiritually thriving. I finally felt myself again. It had been a long journey to get here...

But what a difference a year makes.
And now as we make our way into 2011 I wonder what this year will bring. No matter what it does, my resolution is to be better at blogging about it!!
Happy New Year:)