Monday, June 27, 2011

Where does the time go?!

I checked in on my blog and realized that I haven't posted anything for the entire month of June...what in the world is wrong with me?!

Oh yeah, I am pregnant and chasing after an 11 month old. Despite everything that we have been through, I have to confess that the other day we were driving and I told Tim that I was almost expecting something bad to happen again. I mean, the road with Jack hasn't been paved in gold, but he brings so much joy to our lives...and the past few months (now that I am past the morning sickness and such) things have been, well, good.

Do you realize that I thought I would NEVER be able to say that ever again after Will died??

I still have days where I cry, and miss him terribly. But the truth is, his death is just so much a part of me now that I carry it around without noticing it some days. Its always there, I always feel it...but I can now function and appear to others as if nothing ever happened.
Not sure if that is good or bad,
but that is what it is...

In a few days it will be July. Wednesday we find out if we are having a boy or girl. And somehow time just keeps moving forward. In just a few short weeks, Will would have been 3 years old. How did that happen? And how is Jack almost 1 already?

All I know, is that I enjoy every single day. Thus, the lack of blogs...I've just been too busy keeping up with my little monkey. But I want to write more, because one day, I'll want to look back and remember these good days, just as I continue to occasionally look back at my older blogs to remember the bad ones....

And say a huge prayer of thanks when I realize just how far we have come.

1 comment:

Amber said...

I read this poem on a blog and thought of you...will continue to pray for you and your family!

A Different Child
A Poem

A different child,
People notice
There's a special glow around you,
You grow
Surrounded by love,
Never doubting you are wanted;
Only look at the pride and joy
In your mother and father's eyes.

And if sometimes
Between the smiles
There's a trace of tears,
One day
You'll understand.
You'll understand
There was once a different child
Who was in their hopes and dreams.
That child will never outgrow the baby clothes
That child will never keep them up at night

In fact, that child will never be of any trouble at all
Except sometimes, in a silent moment,
When mother and father miss so much
That different child.
May hope and love wrap you warmly
And may you learn the lesson forever
How infinitely precious
How infinitely fragile
Is this life on Earth.
One day, as a young man or woman
You may see another mother's tears
Another father's silent grief
Then you, and you alone
Will understand
And offer the greatest comfort.
When all hope seems lost,
You will tell them
With great compassion,
"I know how you feel.
I am only here
Because my mother tried again."

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.

Psalm 116:7