Thursday, September 22, 2011

catch up

When I think about how far behind I've gotten in blogging,
it really blows my mind.
I used to write nearly every day when I began this as a hospital update over 3 years ago. And then after Will died, it was really my only outlet to deal with the incredible loss.
I cherish those entries...and looking back its crazy to see how far we have come in the last 3 years. Literally, I was on the brink of no hope. So devastated after losing Will just 3 months after I quit my job as a teacher in Southern California to start a new beginning in Michigan.
And then it was just wiped away.
I felt like I had lost everything,
and in a way...I really did.
But slowly, as days passed into weeks, which passed into months...I now sit here 3 years later with a 13 month old son and another healthy baby on the way who will be here in November.
And I feel so blessed.
Not just for my children,
but for everything along the journey.
I don't have time to blog like I used to.
But it is because of my little blessings that keep me busier than I have ever been in my life.
Sure, I miss writing like I used to.
But some day soon, the clinging little arms and whining will be all grown up...
and it will have gone so fast.
I would rather have this, then an empty (and clean!) house and hours to write because I have no one that needs me for hugs and naps and stories.
But in the meantime, I really do have to do at least one entry a week. Because I want to remember all of this too.
Life has finally found a new sense of normal.
It has taken a long time,
but there is always hope for better things to come if you have enough faith.
Even if at the time it seems only as big as a seed,
that is all it takes...