Where does the time go?!

I checked in on my blog and realized that I haven't posted anything for the entire month of June...what in the world is wrong with me?!

Oh yeah, I am pregnant and chasing after an 11 month old. Despite everything that we have been through, I have to confess that the other day we were driving and I told Tim that I was almost expecting something bad to happen again. I mean, the road with Jack hasn't been paved in gold, but he brings so much joy to our lives...and the past few months (now that I am past the morning sickness and such) things have been, well, good.

Do you realize that I thought I would NEVER be able to say that ever again after Will died??

I still have days where I cry, and miss him terribly. But the truth is, his death is just so much a part of me now that I carry it around without noticing it some days. Its always there, I always feel it...but I can now function and appear to others as if nothing ever happened.
Not sure if that is good or bad,
but that is what it is...

In a few days it will be July. Wednesday we find out if we are having a boy or girl. And somehow time just keeps moving forward. In just a few short weeks, Will would have been 3 years old. How did that happen? And how is Jack almost 1 already?

All I know, is that I enjoy every single day. Thus, the lack of blogs...I've just been too busy keeping up with my little monkey. But I want to write more, because one day, I'll want to look back and remember these good days, just as I continue to occasionally look back at my older blogs to remember the bad ones....

And say a huge prayer of thanks when I realize just how far we have come.

Lots of pictures...

So I know these are pictures from weeks ago...

but better late then never.
And this kid is keeping me so busy,
he is into everything!

I am seriously EXHAUSTED lately, but feeling good otherwise...
So that is my excuse for the lack of blogging.
Especially skipping his 9 month update.
So here is a short one:

Jack's current status...
6 teeth (which he uses to bite and chew everything...including my toe and his beautiful crib rail)
Loves food (especially ours)
Is finally on somewhat of a regular nap/sleep schedule (Thank you, God!!)
Loves to chase Sophie :) This never gets boring to watch
Is incredibly ticklish.

And overall, he just grows more fun each day...
I'm loving this age.
Hard to believe he'll be a year old soon!

Mother's Day

My first Mother's Day with a living child and one on the way!

My husband tried so hard to make it special, and it was.

We went out for breakfast, where Jack was an angel. Couldn't have asked for more:)

Then he took Jack for a run on the biking trail in the jogging stroller we just got so I could have my one Mother's Day wish: A nap! Having that hour and a half of uninterrupted sleep felt like heaven to this pregnant momma:)

Then, the one aspect I was not planning on was our realtor called and someone wanted a showing! Literally, I was the most annoyed that I have been in a really long time. So when I woke up from my nap, I started cleaning...on Mother's Day!

Seriously, ridiculous...

But when your house is for sale, do you really have a choice when the prospective buyers are not living around here? All I have to say is we had better get an offer!

While the house was being showed, we went and had some dinner and just enjoyed being a family. Lots of calls and well-wishes came in and I am so grateful for all those that were lifting me up. I won't lie, its still hard to think that Will should be here. And every day I still miss him.

But the other day I was reading something that Elizabeth Edwards said and it really stuck with me. Not just because what she said was close to my heart, but because often my heart breaks because most of our family rarely mentions Will or honors his memory in any way. And to me that is the most unbearable. So when I read her words, I felt like I had a voice to express just what that felt like. Because I love being a mom. And before Jack came along, I was a mom to Will first. And so this Mother's Day, I was celebrating being a mom to not just one, but two boys...

"If you know someone who has lost a child...and your afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them is that you remember that they lived, and that's a great, great gift."

What great advice, especially now, when spring is finally here and my mind is heavy with reminders that 3 years ago this month I began my 8 week stay at The Hotel Del Spectrum Hospital :) But this Mother's Day was the best I have ever had...and I look forward to many more with our growing little family!

CA trip

For spring break,

we ventured to our old home...Orange County, CA.
I have to admit that while we lived there, I absolutely could not stand it at times.
Now I am smart enough to also admit that not only was I stupid,
but that my feelings have changed.
There is so much to do there,
but most importantly we love our friends and miss them dearly.
And the best part?
Some of the best weather in the country.
Very predictable.
And in our life, I will take anything predictable...
we've had enough surprises:)

So we took a nice long plane ride with Jack (who did pretty well and won over the masses on the plane) and went for a little sunshine and relaxation...only when you have a 8 month old, there is not much time to relax. So about a day before we were supposed to come back home, we were finally on a schedule again and I was not ready to come back to grey and cold Michigan.

It was a fun trip. And I loved seeing everyone again and eating at all of our favorite places. We'll hopefully end up living out there in the future. Life it too short to live in a place you don't love. And I really miss the ocean and sunshine. My only bummed out moment was not being able to have the incredible mojitos at Coyote Grill in Laguna...and as far as Jack, that kid loves to be outside. Of course, time went too fast and between the pregnancy blahs and the time change we didn't do a whole lot.

But then again, it was just nice to sit by the pool and feel the sunshine again. And Jack, that kid was all about the water and being outside. He even got to pick a lemon off the tree:) I'm ready to go back for more...

Fashion Show

So along with Jack keeping me busy, there is something else that threw us for a loop this past month.

And since I love to shop,
when I saw this adorable shirt for Jack, I knew I had to get it.
Even though I am German, Not Dutch...
Doesn't matter,
its gets the point across, right?!

For the record, this was the biggest shock of my life.
Had no intention at all of getting pregnant so quickly after Jack.
In fact, after all we've been through, I didn't even think it was possible.
Just goes to show you, God has the ultimate plan...not us!

Now if I could just be blessed with Superman strength to get me through this...
and maybe a little delay in Jack walking too!

Months 7 & 8

Okay, I am embarrassed...

After all the people that read and follow this blog,

I should know better than to go nearly 2 months without posting anything.

And its not that I didn't want to,

writing is still my outlet...and perhaps if I did more of it,

the last two months would have been a bit more bearable!

But this kid...

takes up all my energy and time...

Since my last post in Feb. Jack has begun to crawl...to pull himself up on furniture...to bite all the furniture he pulls himself up on...and even gnaw on the nastiest thing~our concrete hearth that comes out of the fireplace. Ugh. Tim shudders with each little scratch of his teeth.

Then there are the wires. If there is anything poking out from behind a table, in the mouth it goes. I am seriously exhausted...

But there are so many fun things too. Jack loves food. He tries everything and we can no longer eat our own meals without him grabbing or screaming for a bite. Its fun to give him new things to try and watch his face.

But if we think we are busy with him now, just wait until the walking begins...and then there all the other things going on. More on that soon!

Snow, snow...go away

If I were to sum up the last few weeks it would be this:

Snow.

Tons of snow.

As you can see from the pics, the drifts were clear up to the glass on the door. At least a foot and a half high.

Then today it reached 45 degrees and I did a little happy dance as I watched the huge mountains in front of our house slowly melt down to something a bit easier on the eyes.

I am so ready for spring.

While it was busy snowing outside, we have been busy inside. Except for the one day that G&G bought Jack his little red sled and somehow talked me into going for a walk around the neighborhood. Don't let the sun fool you~it was FREEZING.

But besides trying to stay warm, we have officially put our house up for sale. Where are we going? Not quite sure...but after the huge blizzard I'm daring to say someplace a bit warmer maybe. We'll see.

Jack has also been going to Gymboree class, which helps us beat the "stuck inside all the time" blues. He loves it. Because let's face it, here in Michigan you can only go to the mall or grocery store so many times before you feel like your going lose it.

Today had a small sense of spring about it. Just how excited did this make me?

I was giddy.

Seriously, giddy.

Combine that with the plane tickets I just bought to fly us out to L.A. in a few weeks and today was a spectacular day:)

Now I just need to get my ab rolls to look as cute as Jack's in a swimsuit:)